haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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