your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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