Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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