Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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