I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
