At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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