Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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