11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
