After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
