I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
