Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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