yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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