Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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