I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
we should paint friendship bongs
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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