She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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