I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
