She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
