just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
