bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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