Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
