Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
