Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
