Even water is tasting like jack daniels
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
