In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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