No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I cockslap morals
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
