I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
