i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
