I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
