Yo dont text me then not text me
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
did i just pee glitter
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
