so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
bring money and cleavage
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
