It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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