Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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