so let's talk penis.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
