handjob tips. give me some.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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