its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
