No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
