you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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