just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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