Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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