dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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