ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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