Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
