We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she told me i tasted like america
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
