this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Randomize