I'm really into asian looking animals
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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