you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
