Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Just cropdusted the office
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
