Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
