The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
