your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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