Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
