Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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