that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
