this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
