Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
